Most Ridiculous Travel Reviews for Sightseeing

by GO GlobeHopper

Travelers will find many trip reviews online, some are positive and rewarding of services and experiences that have enhanced vacations while others offer complaints and dissatisfaction with attractions and hotels, etc. Although both positive and negative reviews can be helpful to potential travelers, there are many that are truly questionable. After reading some dubious sightseeing comments on TripAdvisor, Holiday Complaint, and some on Go GlobeHopper’s YouTube channel, we compiled a list of the most mind-boggling, complete with spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. We’re leaving it up to you to decide whether the 30 we’ve chosen are reasonable or just plain ridiculous.

 

Many tourists take destination names far too literally, as you will see throughout these reviews.  One of the most common is Elephant Island, a mountainous island off the coast of Antarctica that looks like the head of an elephant when seen from the air. Sadly, there are a string of reviews from people that are frustrated when they arrive and don’t see any elephants, like this one.

“Like many other reviewers I was disappointed by the lack of elephants and to make matters worse I managed to get attacked by a penguin within minutes of arriving. Would not recommend.”

It seems some tourists are underwhelmed with the Big Ben Clock Tower in London. We’re not sure what else they were expecting to see since the name of this attraction is self-explanatory.

“Went to see the clock and all I can say is my Apple Watch is more accurate and prettier to look at and mine even takes my pulse, what can Big Ben do? Please upgrade the bell so that a coo coo bird comes out each hour .…”

“I don’t understand all the hype with the clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway.”

Another London visitor rated Big Ben 1 out of 5 because they could not see properly without their glasses. We’re not sure how this is the clock’s fault.

“Long John would of been a better name, as it’s very long as I couldn’t see the clock without my specs.”

Yet another visitor blamed his clumsiness on the tower’s location, not to mention that he doesn’t seem to know it’s the River Thames.

“To close to the water. Lovely clock but I fell into the river when I was looking at the tower and I fell over the side into the freezing cold themes.”

This sightseer in Thailand became self-conscious after seeing elephants.

“Spotting the visibly aroused elephant ruined my honeymoon in Thailand by making me feel inadequate.”

This traveler didn’t know that bottled water is advisable in many regions, nor did he consider any other beverage but alcohol. When he over-indulged, he blamed the hotel.

“The water tasted funny so I had to drink cocktails all week. Now I can’t remember half my holiday.”

Most people are familiar with The Beatles and their infamous Abbey Road album cover. But this sightseer mistook the famed black and white crosswalk as a zoo.  

“I was told to check out the zebras crossing Abbey Road whilst in London, but didn’t see any. Perhaps you have to come at night to see them. There were lots of people there looking for them but didn’t see a single one! I’d recommend London Zoo at Regent’s Park over Abbey Road for zebras”.

This reviewer visited the London Eye and took the name far too literally.

“It’s not an actuall eye. I don’t like heights, and I didn’t like this my wife and daughter loved it I read the news paper and pretended I was elsewhere. If you don’t like heights don’t go near it. Apparently the views are great”

We’re not sure how the color of concrete is bothersome at the Sydney Opera House in Australia.

”Do you like brown concrete with Dim lighting you’re in for a treat. Life is too short – do something else.”

This person compared the Great Wall of China to Disneyland, “without the fun.”

“It’s like Disneyland but without the fun. The whole thing is reconstructed, costs a little fortune to use their cable car and shuttle bus. Better to watch a documentary on the National Geographic in the comfort of your own home.”

Some tourists enjoy the sight of natural wonders. This particular tourist believes one of the most visited parks in the U.S. is not fascinating enough without escalators.

“The reason I give Grand Canyon National Park only one star as a national park is that pretty much all of the really awesome things you could potentially do in the Grand Canyon are basically off-limits for a day tripper. I just don’t understand why they won’t build a road, aerial tramway, escalator or SOMETHING that gives easier access to the canyon’s depths.”

Conversely, this traveler was overjoyed with his experience at the Grand Canyon, but his words didn’t offer readers much advice.

“wow can you believe that man !  that exists .  Its real Wow !  Just look at it .”

Apparently, the word ‘gallery’ in London’s National Gallery isn’t enough of a clue as to what visitors will find here.

“Just a collection of pictures! Although the pictures are very famous, If you go to London don’t visit the National Gallery.”

This traveler’s choice of words makes the review of America’s tallest national monument so much more entertaining than it should be.

“BORING!! The thing is ugly as sin. It looks like half of a McDonald’s logo, or a giant urinal. And going up to the top of the arch is the worst. There is nothing to see other than St. Louis’ ugly skyline which really looks like a generic skyline out of some cheap ’80s indie movie.”

This visitor to the Dominican Republic didn’t seem sure as to which town they had visited. We assume the writer means Cabarete.

“travalled to cabinete for the day . saw the beach and went down Cabenato’s main street . they don’t pay taxes like we do but its a more relaxed way of life and people are nice . lots of people on bikes and scooterrs so be carefull on the streets of cabareto ! beach is nice. I recommend travailing to Cabanaro .”

 A New York sightseer, who truly hates punctuating sentences, blamed the December weather for their terrible experience at the Statue of Liberty.

“Weather was dreadful rained all the time and was freezing wouldn’t recommend your be better doing own thing we got bored and wanted to go ! Had little time at Ellis island too.”

This traveler visited Sequoia National Park and seems to think sketchy people are much more dangerous than wild predators. The lack of 7-elevens also contributes to their disappointment.

“This place is dangerous. There are bears, mountain lions and worst of all, sketchy people. Hide your wives, hide your kids, hide your husbands, because they will come they [sic] your window. There are bugs and stuff, and they will bite you on your face. Don’t waste your time here. Go to Vegas, for sure Vegas is practical, and has 7-Elevens.”

With no reason stated, it seems this tourist just had to blow off some steam from their trip to the Colosseum in Rome.

“A terrible tourist attraction. A disaster for Rome. Find something else to spend your time on. Not a place for people with just a little self-respect.”

This person left a contradicting review of Lion’s Head, Cape Town.

“Fantastic views, wonderful place. Don’t go there. So many people it is just too terrible. there are lots of other places to hike in Cape Town.”

Despite booking a beach vacation, this comment leaves many people wondering what the traveler expected from a beach.

“It’s a great beach, just too sandy. Vice nice for swimming. Water was so clean and crystal clear. Overall nice experience on Tumon Beach. Recommend to travelers to visit anyways.”

More disappointment in a beach vacation came from a female reviewer who visited a topless beach with her husband and blamed the beach for her husband’s distraction.

“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

Despite all the things to see at the National Mall and Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC, this tourist complained about their failed attempt to dive into the famous reflecting pool.

“Do not over imbibe on a warm evening with friends, stripping, and do a flat racing dive into the reflection pond. Having been a competitive swimmer, I dug deeply for my first power stroke, nearly breaking a finger as it is relatively shallow – about 3 1/4 feet deep, but worst yet, your hand will yield rather mature duck-droppings packing your fingers. Not a good show.

This traveler shares their distaste for Brooklyn. Their superior feelings along with the heavy use of the word “trash” makes this review amusing.

“Nothing special. Mostly annoying tourists and pretentious under educated New Yorkers hopping around feeling important. Trashiest part of the city. And yes, Brooklyn is the trashiest part of nyc since the trashiest people live here. Brooklyn should be part of New Jersey since it’s so trashy.

After visiting the Brooklyn Bridge, a visitor concluded that it is, in fact, just a bridge.

“The bridge is talked about. Everyone says that this is an iconic bridge. We think not. It is just a bridge.”

This Mexico City sightseer experienced a lot of people’s worst nightmares at a local hotel but seemed more disappointed by the TV reception.

“I was trying to sleep and felt something. When I turned on the lights I had a cockroach on the shoulder. They switched my room but couldn’t sleep, so I try watched tv and the signal look terrible. Hard disappointment.”

Despite that The Louvre in France is a world-famous museum, this visitor was truly unimpressed.

“Musee [sic] du Louvre – bad. Short answer: bored… Apparently there is between 14 to 16 kilometres of boredom on offer at the Louvre. I could not do it.” Of the Mona Lisa, he wrote: “She’s small. Effectively A4 size… And that smile? She looks to me like she just pulled a bank job and got away with it.”

An angry parent left a review of their trip to Las Vegas after the shocking revelation that The Strip in Sin City is not family-friendly.

“Homeless passed out on the streets, vomit on the sidewalks, needles and trash everywhere. We brought the kids with us and during the day would go on the strip to visit attractions. We brought the kids with us and during the day would go on the strip to visit attractions. Way too many scantily dressed streetwalkers who embarrassed the kids. Who wants a family picture with women who have pasties on the top and a g strip on the bottom. Not my idea of a family portrait….”

This person was also ticked off with Las Vegas, seemingly due to the inability to read signs at Caesar’s Palace.

“went to cesars place and entered parking garage . wanted to see the painted celing that looks like sky.  i didn’t kno where it was and thought it was all one entrance but signs and elevators were all for diferent parts – hotel, casino , cesars mall.  To confusing so i left. Cesars sucks!

This traveler was gravely disappointed with Lumpini Park in Bangkok, Thailand despite it being very scenic with several things to do, not to mention the interesting presence of monitor lizards around the manmade lake.

“Lumpini waste land. Ugliest park I have seen in last 20 years. Literally nothing to see. Waste my of time and energy…”

 

Online reviews can be helpful, no doubt.  They can also be very amusing. Certainly, the 30 we have selected here are only a few of the gems that give readers a chance to laugh at the views and expectations of some people and, in some cases, the strange things that have occurred on their trips. That’s a great way to find entertainment, but it’s not always the best way to find a credible review.  That’s why Go GlobeHopper’s experience-based reviews are written by booking agents and GlobeHopping journalists that ignore extenuating circumstances and focus only on the attraction, tour, or hotel/resort.

 

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